help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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