Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Someone shattered a urinal.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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