my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize