pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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