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i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
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