I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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