im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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