There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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