i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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