You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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