he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize