after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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