I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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