MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
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after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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