I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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