apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize