When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Everyone says I win the strip club
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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