You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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