I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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