i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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