i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize