Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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