i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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