The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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