Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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