So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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