Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm really busy with my period
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