Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize