Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize