just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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