There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize