OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize