not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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