And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize