I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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