One girl and one boy is just not enough.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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