Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
COCAINE IS GR8
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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