420 ftw
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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