I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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