when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
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And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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