I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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