I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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