I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize