this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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