i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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