was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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