I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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