no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
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I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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