Apparently you make a good broom.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize