Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize